i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
