I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
sex in a hospital.. check
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
