I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
