its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
