did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
