It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
