You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
