One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
