Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
