he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize