Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
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Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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