Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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