i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Randomize
