One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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