I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
