Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
