He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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