No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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