Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
