God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
