is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
