Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
