I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
