Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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