My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
