Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Drake has all the answers
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
