I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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