careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Never underestimate the power of titties
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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