they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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