Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
