Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dicks are not precious.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
