I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
