ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
