saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
