If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
