Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
