just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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