Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
