You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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