I need help removing her.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
