Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
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