It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
