I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
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He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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