Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.

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(407): View more from Florida

I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food

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(360): View more from Washington

there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am

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(858): View more from California

ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.

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(619): View more from California

According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking

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(770): View more from Georgia

Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.

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