Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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