hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
