you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
