my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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