I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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