its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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