tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize