I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
