I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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