You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
