so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I need a beard to bite.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
